It often seems that introverts are unfairly stereotyped in societal views. The prevalent notion suggests that extroverts naturally excel in forming and maintaining relationships and social networks, while introverts are perceived as less adept in these areas. However, this stereotype is far from accurate.
Arthur Brooks, Ph.D., a social scientist, author, and professor, supports this view. On a previous episode of the mindbodygreen podcast, he argued that introverts might actually be better at forging meaningful relationships. He provides insights into why this might be the case.
Are Introverts Better at Deep Friendships?
Brooks points out a unique ability among introverts: they excel at establishing and nurturing deep, lasting connections that go beyond familial or romantic bonds.
He explains, “Introverts are particularly good at maintaining genuine friendships even as life becomes more demanding.” Unlike their extroverted counterparts, introverts often form a few very close relationships, rather than a broader network of acquaintances.
Extroverts, while typically more sociable and quicker at making friends, may constantly seek new social interactions, which Brooks describes as “always looking for fresh meat.” This can lead to a dilution of effort and attention in their existing deeper relationships.
This isn’t to say that extroverts are unreliable or poor friends; rather, they might find it more challenging to maintain long-term friendships due to their broader social engagements. This trait, noted by Brooks through his observations, is not inherently negative but simply a characteristic of their outgoing nature.
Given the growing body of research linking close friendships with happiness, longevity, and physical health, it’s beneficial to adopt some strategies from introverts for deepening personal connections. Brooks himself, an extrovert, admits to drawing inspiration from introverts to enhance his own relationships.
Strategies to Strengthen and Deepen Friendships
Here’s a suggestion: nurture your “friendship plants.” This metaphorical advice can be applied differently based on individual circumstances and relationships. Here are a few general tips, particularly helpful for extroverts:
- Stay in touch: If you’re too busy to meet, a brief phone call or a weekly check-in can keep the connection alive.
- Plan simple activities: Opt for casual meetups like coffee, drinks, dinners, or walks. These are less cumbersome to arrange and more likely to happen than elaborate plans.
- Attend events together: If you’re attending a large event, consider bringing a close friend along. Sharing a meal or traveling to the event together can provide valuable one-on-one time.
These are just starting points for deepening friendships. Building and maintaining friendships can be challenging for everyone, regardless of being introverted or extroverted, so it’s important to be patient and kind to yourself through the process.
Key Insights
Brooks believes that introverts might have an easier time keeping deep relationships compared to extroverts, who excel at forming new ones. Investing time and effort into existing relationships is beneficial for everyone. For a deeper dive into the essentials of happiness, including the importance of connections, listen to the full podcast episode.
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An international trade advisor, Michael helps businesses develop effective export strategies and seize global opportunities.
